


A Glaring of Cats

by greeneggs101



Series: Catnip Tales [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cat!AU, Gen, and Gandalf owns them, if there is such a thing, or rather they own Gandalf, possible unusual cat behavior, the company members are now cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneggs101/pseuds/greeneggs101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gandalf really only meant to get one cat, Bilbo. He somehow ended up with fourteen. </p>
<p>He's okay with that. Bilbo, not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Glaring of Cats

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the first thing I expected to publish in this fandom, but it did get done first.
> 
> Interesting to note: A group of cats is either called a glaring or a clowder. I figured a glaring fit the group more. 
> 
> It should be known that I do not own cats, so I'm not one hundred percent certain on correct cat care. But I have lots of friends who own cats and I did do some research. I have found that there may not be such a thing as "unusual cat behavior" outside of sickness and stress. 
> 
> Edited myself, so if there are any absolute glaring errors, please let me know.

Gandalf swears, he only meant to get one cat. Just one. 

The shelter was fairly sure that the tiny golden brown ball of fluff he adopted was fully grown, despite it, he, being fairly smaller than the other cats. Gandalf decided to name the cat Bilbo. He brought him home, set him up with toys and a small green cat bed with a round opening, and that was that. Gandalf just wanted a little company during his evenings after work.

He definitely didn’t expect the cats to start...multiplying. 

It started when he got home one day and found Bilbo glaring at his small cat bed. His back was arched and Gandalf was pretty sure he was grumbling. 

“What’s going on, my boy?”

Bilbo turned and meowed so piteously, Gandalf immediately put his bags down and investigated. When he leaned down to investigate, he found exactly why Bilbo was agitated.

His cat bed was...occupied.

Another pair of cat eyes glared back at Gandalf from the darkness of the cat bed. 

“Where on earth did you come from?” Gandalf wondered. 

Bilbo meowed again, sounding extremely put out. 

Gandalf tried to help out by tipping the cat bed just a tad. The occupant spilled out onto the floor, unprepared for the shift in gravity. 

The new cat was much, much, larger than his little Bilbo. It, He, Gandalf corrected himself as he picked up the new cat by the scruff, was also very heavy, his fur fairly short except for a mane of hair around his neck though there were a few bald patches, making Gandalf worry about the possibility of fleas. The fur was dark brown, and his eyes dark blue. 

The cat (and Gandalf was very determined not to name him) stared back at him unimpressed. Gandalf was finally forced to put him down for lack of not really knowing what else to do. Of course, he made sure Bilbo got his bed back first. Bilbo had immediately ran inside after the intruder was evicted and was now guarding his home furiously. 

The larger cat just sniffed at the reoccupied cat bed, and received a hiss for his curiosity which made Gandalf chuckle. For the short time he has had Bilbo, he has known him to be a very well behaved cat.

For now though, Gandalf merely sighed and went to go get out two cans of cat food, for the hour was too late to go looking for the cats owner, though he was still unsure as to how the cat got in his apartment in the first place.

The new cat, which certainly had not been named “Dwalin” in Gandalf’s head, ate the food with gusto, and started to sniff at Bilbo’s food, which caused Bilbo to hurry out of his spot to eat it before his unwelcome guest did. 

Dwalin very sneakily took the opportunity to retake the cat bed, much to Bilbo’s consternation when he discovered the treachery. He meowed and whined so loudly Gandalf had to sigh. It was going to be a long night.

In the end Dwalin was banished to the spare room.

The next morning had Gandalf rushing off to work resolving to find the cat’s owner that evening.

However, when he arrived home, he found himself faced with a second problem. For now instead of one extra cat, there were two.

The new addition was just as fluffy as the first, but closer to Bilbo’s size. It’s white fur stood up at odd angles as it playfully headbutted Dwalin.

Bilbo gave Gandalf a glare, as if accusing his owner of letting these two unknown cats into his home.

Belatedly, Gandalf realized that he never did figure out how Dwalin got in. 

He left food out for all three cats before leaving the apartment, set on finding the owner of the two house-crashing cats.

An hour and 3 door slams later, Gandalf was no closer to finding an owner. He then resolved that he was much too old for this and that the cats could stay until he could take them to a no-kill shelter. Though his better sense told him not to, he began to call the new white cat “Balin” in his mind, figuring that as familiar Dwalin was with the cat they might have been brothers. 

He opened the door to his apartment, only to find Bilbo sitting on the counter looking forlorn at his food dish below. Looking down Gandalf discovered the problem.

Or rather, problems.

For now instead of 2 extra mouths, he now had four.

Seriously, where were these cats coming from?

The two new cats were clearly a lot younger than the previous invaders, judging from their slightly smaller stature, curious nature, and appetite. Bilbo’s food was already nearly gone and they began to sneak some of Dwalin and Balin’s (the white cat, whom Gandalf definitely did not name). The older cats grudgingly allowed the younger ones to dig in. 

Bilbo meowed before giving what Gandalf could only describe as a resigned sigh and lept off of the counter. He seemed to accept that his home would permanently be invaded by unwelcome guests. The other cats had wandered off by the time Gandalf had sat down his suitcase and coat. Bilbo ate whatever food was left over and then began to beg Gandalf for more.

Gandalf obliged, putting the food on the counter for Bilbo to deter the other cats from sneaking in extras. The other cats didn’t seem to notice though, Dwalin and Balin setting off together to explore while the younger cats played in the living room. The darker of the two (Kili, Gandalf decided, not that he was naming them), had that the coffee table was an excellent height from which to jump on his brother, (Fili). 

As Bilbo finished his meal Gandalf began to investigate just where these cats were coming from. He left Fili and Kili to play in the main room, following Balin and Dwalin around the apartment. 

However, the cats appeared to understand what he was up to, and did not reveal their entrance into the apartment, instead merely curling up at the foot of Gandalf’s bed and apparently falling asleep. Gandalf sighed, but knowing that he really didn’t expect anything less. He tried to search for unlocked windows or doorways, but couldn’t find anything in the main rooms. 

A hiss and a startled yelp from the living room had him rushing back in. He found Bilbo buried under a mound of gold and dark brown fur, apparently having been ambushed by Fili and Kili. 

Bilbo glared up at him and Gandalf shrugged in response, having given up trying to make the cats go away on their own.

The same resigned sigh sound came from Bilbo and Gandalf chuckled. He wondered if this would be the end to the appearance of mysterious cats. 

He really should have known better. 

When he came home the next evening it was two twelve pairs of eyes staring up at him from the entry way. A thirteenth pair glared at him from the counter. Gandalf sighed and dropped his suitcase.

He really did just want the one cat. But he also really couldn’t say no to twelve pairs of hungry eyes.

After scrounging up the last of the food he had bought for Bilbo (much to Bilbo’s dismay), he now had twelve happy and one very disgruntled cats. He lifted Bilbo into his arms for some much needed attention as he studied his new guests.

There were three cats that appeared to be related, each with dark reddish brown hair, though the oldest had several streaks of white in its fur. They had curled up together near the armchair, the oldest grooming the youngest, who couldn’t have been older than a kitten. The other reddish brown one groomed itself though Gandalf wasn’t sure if it’d be able to groom all of the clumps out of its hair on its own. 

There were two others with dark black fur, one with ears that were always laid down funny, and the other with several white streaks and a missing eye. They cuddled close to a rather large fat cat with short red hair and a generally pleased expression. 

The last two new guests were definitely as old as Dwalin and Balin, if Gandalf had to guess. One had grey and white fur while the other was a long haired ginger cat. 

Bilbo butted his hand and he realized that he had stopped petting. 

He resumed and sat in his armchair, too amused by the antics of his guests to pick up a book or start grading the tests he had given his students that day. Bilbo began purring, apparently content to know that though his owner now had 12 other cats, he was still Gandalf’s favorite. 

Gandalf stayed there for a few hours, only getting up when his stomach started to rumble and he put Bilbo down to start on his own dinner. As he made his way past the napping cats, he picked up each one to study it closer, making sure they were uninjured or otherwise unhealthy. He received a scratch on his arm and wrist when he picked up the kitten from the reddish brown and white cat and he quickly returned the kitten to the floor. 

He found that all of the cats were male, which he was slightly thankful for, for it meant that there would be no unexpected kittens (aside from the one he decided to call Ori). They also all seemed to be fairly familiar with each other as there was no real fighting, just the few play fights Fili and Kili instigated. 

He was just biting into his sandwich when he heard Bilbo give a startled meow, and another cat gave an answering hiss. He got up in case had to break up a cat fight and found himself having to recount his cats several times, because at last count he had thirteen.

Now he had fourteen.

He looked around and spotted Bilbo facing off with the newest cat. It was nearly as large as Dwalin, with long black fur and spots of silver grey by his ears. He and Bilbo were having a staring contest before the newest cat raised a paw and bopped Bilbo on the head. Bilbo gave a whine and a hiss, but otherwise didn’t try to retaliate, instead finding Gandalf and hiding behind his legs.

“And where did you come from? I’m afraid you’re late for dinner.”

None the less, he found some small scraps for the new cat, (also male), and ate the rest of his own sandwich. Bilbo didn’t bother the newer cat for the rest of the evening, but Gandalf did spot the newest addition, (Thorin, Gandalf decided), staring at Bilbo with curiosity. 

Fili and Kili had tackled Thorin as soon as he was finished eating and Thorin retaliated, tackling each to the ground and giving them a thorough tongue bath. Fili stayed still but Kili yowled as loud as he could, and escaped Thorin as soon as possible. 

Gandalf went to bed that night half expecting his cat brood to double or quadruple over night, but he woke up to the same fourteen cats, all huddled in front of the armchair, with Thorin sleeping on the armchair overlooking them all. Gandalf spotted Bilbo in the middle of the group, looking a bit squashed but content, not waking till he heard the sound of Gandalf serving the cats their breakfast. 

After that, Gandalf, and therefore Bilbo, settled into a routine with their new company. Though Gandalf never did find out exactly how the cats got in, he did find that they enjoyed the outdoors, often sitting patiently at the back door till Gandalf let them out, often leaving in groups of four or five. Around dinner time they would all come back, some with their hunting trophies, which Bilbo refused to let into the house. He always hissed and complained loudly when they tried. Eventually the company learned to leave their mouse and small pest corpses at the door when the came in for dinner. After dinner, they would play and wander the house, often settling down in the sitting area for pets from Gandalf or to take turns grooming each other. 

Dwalin and Balin often patrolled the area while the others played and Gandalf graded papers. The trio of Ori and his siblings, Dori and Nori, often curled up together, in the few days since they came to Gandalf’s Ori had started to grow into a curious, if still small cat. The other trio of two dark haired cats and the large red short hair (Bifur, Bofur and Bombur) were stretched out along the edge of the couch. The long haired dark red (Gloin) and white (Oin) cats groomed themselves near the armchair. 

One evening, Thorin chased Fili and Kili around the room as the two evaded their nightly grooming regimine. Finally, Thorin caught Kili, sitting on him gently as Kili calmed down and stopped struggling, but Gandalf could see that Thorin was in no danger of suffocating the young cat. Fili continued to run around the room

Gandalf felt Bilbo hop off of his lap strolling over to the center of the room. Gandalf watched, extremely amused as Bilbo pounced just as Fili was turning a corner. He landed right on top of the young cat, pinning him to the ground. Gandalf laughed as Bilbo began to groom the young blond cat. 

Thorin looked up from his spot grooming Kili as Fili whined but otherwise didn’t struggle. He gave Bilbo a look but ignored him in favor of finishing Kili’s grooming. 

After that Thorin constantly tried to get Bilbo to go outside with them, but Bilbo remained stubbornly a house cat, preferring to sleep on the sofa rather than running around outside. Instead, in the evenings after Fili and Kili were groomed Thorin sought out Bilbo’s company, not really cuddling with the smaller cat, but definitely staying close. 

One evening, when Gandalf came home and let the cats in, he noticed that Thorin, Dwalin, Fili and Kili were not with the rest. The others were clearly agitated, and Gandalf wondered if something had happened to them. He wandered around outside to try and locate them but couldn’t find a trace of the younger cats or the older pair. Sighing, he went back inside to get dinner for the others, he’d try again afterwards to see if they were just late on their way home.

As he was portioning out the meals, however, Gandalf began to hear a high pitched meow and the sound of claws against a door.

Checking in on the main sitting area, he found that Bilbo, of all the cats, was pawing at the back door, clearly wanting to be let out. Looking through the class, Gandalf saw Fili, Kili and Dwalin outside outside, leaning against the door. Quickly making his way through the group of concerned cats, Gandalf opened the door. Bilbo got out of the way to let the younger cats and Dwalin through. 

Gandalf stepped outside not immediately noticing the source of the cats agitation, but then a sound towards the entrance of the forest that edged the back of his apartment complex. There was a low growling sound before the other noise Gandalf had come to associate with Thorin hissing. 

Suddenly Gandalf saw a streak of golden brown fur race past his feet and out into the open grassy area, heading straight for the source of the sounds. It looked like...

But it couldn’t be... 

Turning back Gandalf did a quick assessment of all the cats gathered and found one missing. 

Bilbo.

Taking off at a run, Gandalf began to follow his cat. As he got closer he understood why the cats were so keen in seeking shelter.

At the edge of the forest Thorin was facing off with a large white coyote. It’s fangs were bared as it glared and advanced on the cat. Thorin hiss and swiped with it’s claws, but the coyote was unperturbed. It dodged Thorin’s attack and growled, getting close enough to pick up it’s smaller opponent and toss him against a tree. Gandalf saw Thorin collapse, and the cat struggled to regain his footing. It appeared he had broken or sprained something, for he was stumbling uneasily, collapsing almost as soon as he regained his balance. 

As the coyote turned and prepared to lunch at Thorin, a streak of golden brown launched itself at the face of the attacker. Bilbo drove his claws in and hissed.

The coyote howled and growled, shaking his head to try and throw his attacker off. Bilbo lost his grip, but landed upright between the coyote and Thorin. His back arched and he hissed at the attacker, claws out and prepared to lash out again.

Finally, Gandalf remembered himself, and he looked around to find some weapon to scare the beast off with. He located a few pinecones near his feet and he through them. A few missed completely before one found it’s mark against the coyote’s head. 

The beast turned and growled, but didn’t make a move towards the significantly larger target. Gandalf began shouting nonsense and throwing more of the pinecones.

The coyote growled, but backed away from the cats, edging his way back into the forest. Gandalf strode forward, trying to get himself between the cats and the coyote. The coyote was finally frightened off from pursuing his prey, instead turning and running back into the forest. 

Gandalf backed up slowly to where Thorin was, not wanting to take his eyes away from where the coyote disappeared. Slowly he kneeled down to asses Thorin’s damage. 

Bilbo was curled up next to him, apparently now feeling safe enough to let Gandalf handle the threat. Instead he was licking Thorin’s ears in comfort and Thorin let him, no longer struggling to regain his footing. Gandalf saw that Thorin did indeed break a leg and he gently picked the cat up. Thorin yowled, but otherwise stayed still. Bilbo led the way back to the apartment. 

Once there Gandalf laid Thorin gently on the table. The cat, surprisingly, did not bite, and instead laid quietly as first Bilbo, then Fili and Kili jumped on the table and curled up next to him.

Dwalin and Balin managed to keep the rest from over crowding the table. Gandalf ran to find a large thick towel and a box to transport the cat to the vet. 

He found both fairly quickly, having yet to break down the box Bilbo’s bed came in. Thorin remained strangely quiet while he was wrapped in the towel and placed in the box. Fili and Kili both whined and yowled. 

Gandalf picked up the box before worrying about something else. He sat the box down quickly and began to check the other cats, paying close attention to Dwalin, Fili, Kili and Bilbo to make sure none of them had injuries as well. Luckily, they did not appear immediately injured, though Gandalf would keep a close eye on them as soon as Thorin was taken care of.

He picked up the box again and went out the door. 

On his way to the vet he used the bluetooth on his car to call his friend Radagast to stop buy and take care of the cats at the apartment. He had forgotten to place their dinner on the floor and he was certain that despite the commotion, they were probably quite hungry. Radagast was the only one he told of the mysterious appearance of the cats. Radagast seemed to understand, having a similar experience with several dogs a few years back. 

As he hung up, he heard a small shuffle from the box. Stopping at a light he leaned over, figuring Thorin might have been trying to get up again. Instead, he was extremely surprised to find Bilbo. Somehow, the smaller cat had managed to sneak in the box before Gandalf had made his way out the door. 

“You shouldn’t be in there,” Gandalf chided, “You might injure him further.”

Bilbo, unsurprisingly, ignored him. Instead he curled up around the thick towel wrapped around Thorin’s back. Thorin didn’t move, but did give a small sound of content. 

As long as Thorin seemed content and not moving around, Gandalf was happy to leave Bilbo where he was, figuring he was safer in the box then running around and worrying. 

He pulled up to the emergency vets office. The receptionist quickly met him at the door when she saw the box. 

“He had a run in with a coyote and the coyote tossed him against a tree pretty hard. I think he broke a leg.”

“And the other one?”

“Snuck into the box and wouldn’t leave him.” Gandalf explained.

The young woman nodded and led him to a seat. “I’ll get the paperwork started and inform the vet. Er,” She looked down to where Bilbo was peeking out over the box to examine his surroundings. “Does he need a cat leash or something? I’d hate for him to escape.”

“I don’t think he’d leave Thorin for now, but if you have one to keep a hold of him when Thorin is taken back, I’d appreciate it.

She nodded and went back to the desk. She quickly gathered some forms and handed them to Gandalf to fill out before going to the back to talk with the veterinarian on duty.  


Gandalf filled out the paperwork as best as he could, taking his best guess on most of the questions. Bilbo resumed his vigil by Thorin’s temporary bed, gently licking the hair by Thorin’s ears and purring gently. 

Soon after Gandalf returned the paperwork, a middle-aged woman emerged, “Thorin?”

Gandalf gently picked up the box and handed it over. “The black one, though if you give me just a moment, I can get Bilbo out of the way.”

He reached in and though Bilbo squirmed, hissed and yowled, he eventually was able to remove him from the box. The woman smiled at Bilbo who glared at her from Gandalf’s arms. “We’ll give him back to you all fixed up.”

Bilbo did his grumbling noise and squirmed out of Gandalf’s hold. Though, thankfully, instead of darting off, he went back to the receptionist area and curled up in a chair, intent on waiting for Thorin’s return.

Gandalf nodded at the woman, probably the vet, and went to sit by Bilbo, who uncharacteristically ignored him, probably angry that Gandalf had trusted the woman more than Bilbo with Thorin’s health.

Eventually though, he accepted Gandalf’s hand for pets, then the leash when the receptionist, Sigrid, offered it. He also accepted some pets from Sigrid before returning to look glumly at the door Thorin disappeared through. 

“Don’t worry, Ma will patch him up good as new. Though you won’t be able to cuddle with him for a while.” Sigrid promised as she gently scratched Bilbo’s neck. Then she returned to filing paperwork as Gandalf glanced through the knitting patterns from the magazines. 

Eventually, the veterinarian returned with Thorin safely tucked back in the box. When Bilbo meowed loudly she placed it on the floor and he hopped back in to resume his vigil. Thorin appeared to be sleeping deeply and his lower right foot was in a thick cast. 

“We had to knock him out so he’ll be sleeping through the night.” She passed over a few pill packages and a list. “The pills need to be taken twice a day, morning and night, with food. Their pain pills so he may be a bit woozy for a while, but as long as he stays off the leg he should be fine. You also may need to keep him in a large dog kennel for a while so he doesn’t try to jump and so his movement is limited. Also, if he starts to chew on the bandage, you’ll have to come back so we can rebandage it. As a cautionary, you can get this stuff at any pet store and it’ll make the bandage unappealing to snack on.” she pointed at the list for the name of a product. “Underneath that is a product you can use to get him to take his pills. It’s an edible putty that smells like bacon, so most cats will gobble it up.” 

Gandalf nods, trying to comprehend it all. 

The veterinarian smiled. “The pill information is on the bottles and the list also includes the reminder for a large dog crate. Thorin will be fine in a few weeks as long as he stays off of the leg and doesn’t move around too much.” She grabbed a business card off the counter and wrote a number on the back. “If you have any questions at any time, the number on the front is the office number, and the number on the back is my cell incase I’m not here.” She passed it over and Gandalf took note of her name. 

“Thank you so much, Dr. Dale.”

She nodded and helped Gandalf lift the box with both cats again. Sigrid helped him to the car and waved as he drove away. 

On the way home, Gandalf called Radagast again to give him an update and to ask if he could drop by the next day to borrow a dog kennel. Radagast had several large dogs and had an extra crate. 

Eventually, Gandalf would have to find a new apartment as he was fairly sure his new family would not be leaving anytime soon, and the apartment complex wasn’t exactly 14 cat friendly. 

Eventually, Gandalf would find a smallish house on the edge of town close to his friend Radagast and next door to his cats’ new vet Dr. Dale and her husband Bard.

Eventually, Gandalf would discover that his cats really didn’t like dogs. Particularly Radagast’s Afghan Hounds, Thranduil and Legolas.

But that was another story...

For now, as he brought Thorin and Bilbo back into the apartment and sat them on the floor, he was happy that, however it happened, he now had 14 new family members to come home to at night and talk to. 

He watched as Fili and Kili also curled up next to Bilbo in the box, keeping watch over a sleeping Thorin. Gandalf reached down and petted the other cats that had come around to circle the box in curiosity. He even managed to give Ori a few pets without getting a single scratch from Dori. A sound behind him made him glance up at the counter and found Nori doing his best to open a can of wet cat food with his claws. Bombur and Bofur were watching with intense interest while Bifur napped on the kitchen chair. 

Gloin and Oin were on one side of the box while Dwalin and Balin were on the other. Dori had finally discovered what Nori was up do and started to meow up at him, probably demanding he get down, Gandalf assumed. Ori had his paws up on the box and was looking inside.

Gandalf chuckled as he moved to put the can in a cupboard out of Nori’s reach, though he suspected it wouldn't stay there very long. He then made himself a cup of coffee and settled in his armchair watching over his new company of cats.


End file.
